Lately, I've been writing a lot about my love for -writing-. As I sit here with my headphones on, literally drowning in the sounds that are flowing into my ears and and subequently freeing themselves within my body, carrying themselves down every nerve ending, making sure I FEEL it... I can't help but to be shocked and confused. I'm wondering how it is so, that my undeniable love for music, hasn't been expressed through my writing. As I delve deeper into the possible reasons behind why this is so, I get scared at what my inner self is telling me....
I was afraid that I would not do the magnitude of my love for music justice. Its like my feelings towards something I love cannot be expressed through the culmination of all things I love -writing-;;..but I want to so badly. I want to be able to describe the unfathomable sleu of emotions that erupt within me when I allow myself to truly embrace and acknowledge the creativity that lies behind the sounds I am currently allowing to fill my body----and take over.
I want to be able to describe the burning passion and desire that lies behind my love for music. I want to be able to describe the firey almost-lustfull romance I have with music. A love that just keeps on giving, forcing me to take all of it in, at the same time that I do it willingly. -I have no choice but I don't mind-.
Music was my first love. My first hint of mental stimulation. Challenging me to think,contemplate, and reason long before I knew the true meanings behind those words. Music put a face to many emotions I unknowingly was feeling at both happy, and difficult times. Confused as hell always turned into, "maybe I can figure this out" after a few songs, and "maybe I can figure this out" always turned into "It'll get better, it has to" simply because things like music do not exist in a world where things can't get better...The lyrics didn't have to tell me so, the mere existance of the gorgeous creation that is a carefully put together song always gave me a flitter of hope at those times in my life when hope just seemed like a word to laugh at.
Music to me is like seeing into the souls of those who have written it. Emotions are attached to words, and just as the ink is spilling from this pen in the shape of these carefully placed and decided words, the emotions behind them are sealed permanantly into existance.
When I think of it like that, i realize that I CAN do music justice, because with these words however vague they may be. maybe even painfully untelling to some, I searched for the right words, && I came into contact with the right emotions, and the words were driven by these emotions...::i love you music:::.
*emotion sealed words*
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