::..We Are Doomed..::

We are doomed.

What happened to those days of writing a girl you liked a love letter professing your love or interest in her? What happened to those days of mustering up all of your courage to ask a girl’s daddy if you could take his daughter out to lunch after church on Sunday? All that courage to ask had to have meant you REALLY liked her. What happened to courting, and girls never saying yes at first attempt? What happened to girls envisioning the lives of her children as well as herself with the man she was considering going out to lunch with on Sunday? What happened to when things were so hard, lives were easily genuine. 

I'm a product of my era. Most of time is spent on networking sites, from the top of the pyramid to the bottom.

.Facebook

.Twitter.Blogger.Aim.

And so have my peers. Our lives can undoubtedly be pieced together with repeated glances of us portraying ourselves publicly with the help of a keyboard and mouse pad. Nothing that once was private is private anymore. We tell others about things from how we woke up in our beds that morning to whom we want to have sex with now. Our relationship troubles are broadcasted for everyone to see via newsfeeds. We're together, and I'm in love" quickly turns to "I hate you, you ruined my life" a few days later. Little lovers quarrels like this turn into heart wrenching breakups because you get influenced by the false portrayal of your status that have been elicited by your friends. Small things are placed underneath a microscope for everyone to analyze, pass judgment on and construct an idea of you they so strongly believe in. We let out our feelings of anger, anxiety, frustration, jealousy, and embarrassment...every emotion you could possibly think of or feel, through these portals that have been created. How can I form a close relationship with you if you already have an idea of who you think I am? Without a chance, I can't change the conviction you feel towards the idea of me you have formulated. 

I’ve always been a loner. The type of kid to stay in her room and read books all day, People like me don’t like others knowing our whereabouts, and tiny tid bits of information about us. We like our privacy, and let our personalities serve as surprise factors for those who take the time to –see- us.

Those days of really loving someone before you married them...seem to be vanishing before our eyes, and I know if they were to ever come back it would be a long time from now. I'm too much of a free-spirited conventional and practical person to be forced to live under a microscope. I like to roam freely, with no eyes on me. It pains me to think of the different components of facebook that people can put together into a mediocre representation of me that would never give justice to the true person I am. Some may say that you have to not care what anybody thinks of you, and I say that we're human, we couldn't change it if we wanted to, we all care. If not to everybody, somebody.... we care about somebody's way of thinking of ourselves. I care about multiple people's way of thinking of me. How can I even BEGIN to change your opinion of me if I just reinforce your thoughts on a daily basis. I am not going to sit over here and bitch and moan about people not knowing the real me when I give them reasons not to. I am a strong woman, things like this contradict the distinct person I am.

Of course you are going to like somebody if it is harder to get to know them. Who doesn’t like a nice prize at the end of a long journey…it makes it all worthwhile. How are friendships supposed to be real if you see your “friend” morph in and out of personalities based on who they are interacting with via Internet and how they interact in person? We misinterpret our inborn predisposition to be shy in person as merely a mask to cover up the ugly face of fake interaction via the Internet. We put ourselves in compromising situations, and many of us place ourselves under the influence of various substances in order to have an excuse to act variably in the presence of so many that have seen the many, many heads of your “personality”. The odds are against me already and many people are preprogrammed towards the notion of not giving me a chance, and not opening their eyes to the soul that lies within this shell. I will not be an aid in this blatant attack at my quality of life and future interactions with people. If anything I will force you to get to know me, if not because you want to, but because you very well can’t help yourself. 
.Curiosity is a bitch.