.Relationships.

After a conversation on relationships I felt compelled to write down my thoughts...naturally.


I think people these days are way too quick to get into relationships. Now, I don't think that there should be a time limit for how long two people are talking before they make it official because quite frankly everybody is different, but I do think that people get so caught up in their emotions and the excitement of liking somebody else that they forget to look ahead. Its a natural thing. Its natural for us to have a picture in our heads about what we think a particular relationship is going to be like when we are talking to somebody. Everyone lets their minds wander into what they think will be the future and they envision various things with that person, most of it being good. Because after all, who likes to think negative about something they are about to get themselves into. But a lot of people fail to realize that relationships take work, and there WILL be rough times, there will be times when you can't stand eachother, and there will be times when that person turns you off. That right there is the reason why many couples don't make it. Its those unforseen difficulties that catch people off guard and cause them to get off the horse. Before a relationship occurs, both people need to understand that by being with eachother they are making a commitment to make things work. You don't have to be in love with somebody to be willing to make it work. Of course being in love does help the situation monumentally because there is another driving force behind your decision to stay and tough it out with somebody, but I believe that the want to work things out should come PRIOR to entrance into a relationship. These are things that a lot of people, especially young people refuse to think about because honestly, it makes things a lot more difficult and everyone looks for the easy way around things. Relationships are serious, why commit yourself to something when you are just going to give up when it gets hard. You as well just stay single to be quite honest.

There are certain aspects of a relationship that can be predicted, because in the end we are all just animals and when two animals get together, there are inevitable and predictable outcomes. However, we are also all different in our own ways, that being said, obviously there are things that are going to arise, both good, and bad, that cannot be predicted, because every relationship is unique in itself, because every relationship is the result of two distinct individuals getting together. The ingredients aren't quite the same for every relationship.

Knowing this, people should be aware that things ARE going to change. I hate hearing people say that things aren't the same as it was in the begining of a relationship. Of course not, if I were to be in a relationship with somebody and it stayed the same for an extended amount of time I would be concerned. Part of being in a relationship is knowing that thing will change, some things will get routine, and redundant, and things that used to matter won't matter anymore. The impact of many things such as your significant other's looks will fade, and you will get used to it. Sex eventually will become routine, of course there are things you can do to spice it up but it will be routine nonetheless, two people can only get so creative. Love, if it happens, is only a component of what makes a relationship a lasting one. Too often people try to fit their relationship into that box of definitions of known components: Love, trust, honesty,communication etc..but its deeper than that. There are undefinable, and unexplainable, but altogether present, aspects in a relationship that are important in order for it to be a success....

Basically, what I'm saying is why get into a relationship if you aren't trying/willing/want to make it last. Those things aren't just things that happen when you are in love. Relationships are serious, and I think that people are taking them way too lightly and ignoring the responsibilities, and the array of implicit understandings and commitments that come as a result of saying you belong to somebody and having somebody belong to you...that's not something that anybody should ever take lightly, but unfortnuately I see it all around me everyday...hence why I'm still single. lol

:)